How To Read Camel Cards!
If you saw my last post, you know that I fucked up big time.
Kids, don't do tobacco, not even once. Those nicotine cravings will absolutely mess with your head. It's been almost two months since I smoked and I still get this burning sensation in my chest along with the desire to light up.
The experience led me to think a lot about humans and drugs, and particularly advertising surrounding addictive substances. It's well known in the graphic design world that the most lucrative jobs are for things like beers and cannabis. Up until relatively recently, the same could be said about cigarette ads, which led me to remember a certain smirking camel man who'd been a lurking presence in my early childhood.
Well, dear reader, once I started looking up that old Joe Camel ad campaign, my mind went haywire. Starting around 1992 the paintings and character design for these things ranked among some of the best furry artwork I'd ever seen. And the more I looked into it, the more I began to realize that these characters held a kind of power that I wanted to get a piece of.
I am not talking about their kid appeal, by the way. The Joe Camel characters (yep, there's more than one of 'em) are a specific type of 90s toon where, no matter what bullshit they pull, they always end up on top. For instance, they might go to a casino, gamble way too much money away, and then at the last minute, toon force happens: they hit a big jackpot and walk away much richer than before. The ad campaign calls them "Smooth characters." I'm not sure that's the right phrase to describe them--but the point is, they're by design a powerful chaos force.
Enter the Camel Cards!
Camel: The Game was a promotional item featuring Joe and all his recurring friends. I can't figure out how to play the game itself, but what I did do was invent a system for reading the character cards for divination! After doing nearly 100 online readings in the last week (Thanks, Reddit!) I'm confident that this system is fairly accurate, and now I'm ready to pass the system along to the general public.
Like Tarot, there are upright and inverted readings to each card. It's wisest to shuffle your deck so that some of the cards are upside down. And don't worry about being able to tell if a reading is positive or negative by the back of the card--some cards are only positive if they're upside down!
Without further ado, here are the correspondences.
Card #1: Joe Camel
Letter: Wildcard symbol (Camel)
Joe represents a wildcard in Camel the Game and is also the most volatile card in the deck. Depending on which way you pull him (look carefully at his cigarette smoke!) he can represent great fortune or total loss.
Positive Reading (Single plume of smoke): Charisma, confidence, good luck, fame
Negative Reading: (Branching plume of smoke) Carelessness, indulgence, recklessness
Recommended course of action: New beginnings (The Fool tarot card)
Card #2: Bustah Camel
Letter: C
Bustah is the band's genius guitarist and is the worldliest musician in the Hard Pack band. You can recognize him easily in ads by his stylish round glasses--which apparently exist in real life.
Positive Reading (Cigarette in mouth): Rational, cool head, iconic, strength
Negative Reading (Cigarette in guitar): Envious, vanity, too focused on material possessions
Recommended course of action: Roll with the punches
Card #3: Ray Camel
Letter: A
Ray is one of the Wides Guys and is heavily suggested to be Max Camel's boyfriend. I had to guess at his personality because there's less information on him than the other camels.
Positive Reading (Smoke rings): Caring, understanding, positive interpersonal relationships, partnership
Negative (No smoke rings): Forgetful, overly emotional, lazy
Recommended course of action: Make connections
Card #4: Max Camel
Letter: M
This is my favorite of the Camel characters. He appears in both the Hard Pack and Camel Wides campaigns.
A fun fact: if you place all the cards in order, Max and Ray gaze into each other's eyes. Aww!
Positive Reading (Lit match): Forceful, powerful, amassing resources, timelessness
Negative Reading (Blown out match): Gluttony, greed, bad with using resources
Recommended course of action: Pursue your goals
Card #5: Eddie Camel
Letter: E
Eddie is the overenthusiastic eccentric of the Hard Pack band. He carries his drumsticks around so he can drum on any hard, flat surface, sometimes for over two hours at a time.
Positive Reading (Drumstick touching drum): Originality, genius, passion, creativity
Negative Reading (Drumstick lifted): Difficulty relating to others, irritating, oddball
Recommended course of action: Make waves
Card #6: Floyd Camel
Letter: L
Floyd sometimes plays saxophone in the middle of the night and wakes up everyone in the apartment building. He's also rich enough where Joe will steal his credit card to rent a yacht. Go on, ask me how I know this.
Positive Reading (Finger lifted): Finesse, strong emotions, wealth, class
Negative (Finger pressed down): Cares little for other's feelings, overly zealous
Recommended course of action: Manage your resources
CONGRATULATIONS!
Now you, too, can harness the power of Joe Camel in your divination!
(Please use this power for good.)
That's all for my Camel card correspondence post. Tell ya friends!