I smoked a cigarette so you don’t have to!
There’s no way around it: my main kintype The Noise is a very heavy smoker.
I’m always looking for ways to see just how much like my kintype I am, but for the last year I said trying a cigarette was firmly off the table—mainly because what if I liked it? So I just shook my head at all the pictures of him with a cigarette dangling from his lips and went about mentally logging all the other ways we were similar.
Unfortunately a few days ago I got hit with a hypomanic episode at the exact same time as a strange dream about buying cigarettes, which gave me a huge combination of anxiety and reckless energy. Suddenly I had to know if I actually hated smoking or if this was yet another thing I had in common with The Noise.
I tried playing it safe at first and trying weed (legal in my state). But just two hits landed me a massive panic attack that only furthered my hypomania. With an ashtray and lighter now at hand I knew I was going to end up trying a cigarette sooner rather than later. And that “sooner” ended up being just two hours ago. I headed to the backyard with all my stuff in hand and had my first (and likely only) cigarette break.
Here’s a rundown of my experience so that you don’t have to ruin your lungs like I just did.
Cigarette of choice: Menthol Marlboros (which repeatedly showed up in my dreams related to my kintype)
The ugly
- It’s a cigarette. Enough said.
The bad
- I reek now. I thought maybe a vigorous shower, a good tooth brushing, and some mouthwash would hide the stink of what I just did. Nope, I still have nicotine breath. Fun! I’ll update this post to let everyone know when they can expect that to wear off. In the meantime I’m going to… I dunno, pretend I’m my kintype I guess.
UPDATE: I think the last of the flavor in my mouth dissipated around the 18 hour mark.
- My lungs and chest really hurt. I can tell I damaged them and the pain is a big motivator for me to never do it again.
UPDATE: It’s been 35 hours and my lungs are still hurting.
When I tried disposing of the ashtray contents (by soaking them first), ash got everywhere. I have the feeling my room smells now, too. Glorious!
If you inhale it wrong, it’s painful. You WILL inhale it wrong on your first smoke. I don’t intend to get better at it.
The good
I hate admitting this, I mean really hate admitting it, but it was a really nice break from reality. No phone except for music, nothing to attend to, smoke billowing through the air in the warm night air. I’m going to take this as a sign I should put my phone down more.
Holy shit, that nicotine buzz. It’s a little dizzying and very tranquil. I don’t know the last time I’ve been that calm. I suspect now that that’s why The Noise smokes all the time; he’s very high strung. I think the feeling would be addictive even if it didn’t have addictive chemicals in it. I told myself i was only going to take a few puffs on one to try it out. Nope. I went through three entire sticks.
Was thoroughly expecting the worst taste ever because others said the taste alone made sure they never picked up smoking. Nope. It was bitter but nowhere near as bitter as medications I’ve had through the years. The menthol was tasty. Mostly tasted like smoky dried leaves.
Calmed down my mania just as well as a prescription medication I use (which funnily enough is also addictive) but only for a few minutes before I went back to feeling tightly wound
Doing something that everyone knows is bad for you is kind of thrilling, which might have made the experience more fun for me. YMMV here.
Not sure if this counts as “good” but it definitely awakened a part of me. I actually felt like I was supposed to be smoking, which I can only really attribute to my kintype since I didn’t grow up around smokers or anyone who encouraged it. (The downside to this is that I’m probably going to want to do it again… I will resist!)
So that’s the rundown of tonight’s adventure. I hope this is enough information for the curious so that they don’t feel the need to try it out for themselves.
I’m keeping the ashtray.